royalnoire
I’m going to make a conscious effort to no longer write about you. Not because I hate you, I could never truly hate someone I loved with such a fierce and unrestrained love, although I hate what you did and the way in which you did it, but because I deserve to be happy and at peace with myself. I’ve dedicated over half a decade to you. It’s time I finally start experiencing life without you, not without your influence though as you’ve tattooed yourself into my subconscious forever, and I will die with no small amount of love for you. I will look forward and keep myself open to any and all experiences and opportunities. You have coloured such a large part of my life and I will always truly love you, nothing short of blunt force trauma could separate me from that love, but I need to break away from you definitively. My little rock and roll. Goodbye.
(via veganvampyre)
Whelp.
I feel like I’m in a fucking rom-com and I’ve gotten to the part where the main character faces the hard truth. Except this isn’t funny at all. Or maybe this is my villain origin story. Hah. Either way, none of this feels real and I’m kind of just… numb atm.
This is going to be a hard pill to swallow. Probably because I know that I can’t do anything to change things. I saw it coming too. Last week, something in my gut told me that it was coming. I thought I was just overthinking again and dismissed the idea. I even told everyone I was over it. But deep down, I guess I knew that was a lie. And that little lie caused a ripple effect, biting me in the ass.
I think the hardest part about all this is that I can’t talk about it to ANYONE. It’s a secret I’ll have to take with me to the grave. And as usual, I will suffer in silence. I want to scream and shout. But I can’t. Because I’m SUPPOSED to be happy.
I’m SUPPOSED to be happy.
… I just wish I could be happy.
